Negative vs. positive hypnosis

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a loop of negative thoughts, replaying the same scenarios until they feel automatic, even addictive? It's like these thoughts generate a strange, electrifying energy, drawing you in deeper. Consider what you watch or how you scroll endlessly through social media. The hypnotic effect is undeniable. People become glued to their screens, unaware of their surroundings, entranced in a form of negative self-hypnosis. Now, imagine that same phenomenon magnified by the emotional manipulation of a narcissist. Narcissistic abuse doesn’t just impact your emotions. It rewires your brain, functioning like a dark form of hypnosis that alters how you think and feel.

But here’s the empowering truth: your brain can heal. By understanding the contrast between negative and positive hypnosis, survivors of narcissistic abuse can break free from these mental chains and start reclaiming their lives.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

Before we delve deeper, let’s clarify what narcissism truly means. The term "narcissist" is often used loosely these days, blurring its actual meaning. The reality is that everyone displays narcissistic traits to some extent. We all seek gratification, try to preserve ourselves, and may even occasionally believe we’re smarter, more attractive, or better than others. We all have moments of self-focus or believe we’re right when others are wrong. However, when we refer to a "real narcissist," we're talking about people with deeply ingrained, damaging traits that only intensify but also persist over time.

Key traits of narcissists include:

Lack of empathy and no remorse

Grandiosity and a sense of entitlement

Manipulation and exploitation

Unlike most people, who can reflect on their behaviour and grow, narcissists are self-serving and indifferent to the harm they cause, lacking guilt or responsibility.

How does narcissistic abuse rewire the brain?

Narcissistic abuse infiltrates the brain’s neural pathways through a form of negative hypnosis. Abusers subtly manipulate their victims, often without them even realizing what’s happening. This manipulation synchronizes the victim’s brain with that of the abuser—a process known as brain entrainment. Over time, the victim becomes emotionally dependent on the abuser, making it incredibly hard to break free from the cycle. 

Explore more on how narcissists control the brain here.

Imagine a painful conversation where the narcissist says, “You’re imagining things,” or “That never happened.” Repeated enough, this creates a state of cognitive dissonance where the victim begins to question their own memory, judgment, and reality itself.

Negative hypnosis exploits the brain’s natural alpha and theta states, those normally associated with relaxation. The abuser inserts subtle suggestions, instilling feelings of guilt and unworthiness, locking the victim into emotional dependence. 

Learn more about the effects of hypnotherapy on abuse survivors here.

As these manipulations repeat, the victim’s brain rewires itself to accept the abuser’s distorted reality. This process damages the limbic system (responsible for emotions and memory) and weakens the prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational thought and decision-making), leaving the victim feeling trapped and powerless.

The 3 most dangerous manipulation tactics narcissists use

Narcissists employ a subtle form of negative hypnosis to manipulate their victims, starting with surprise, moving to confusion, and ending with direct programming—all designed to control and rewire the victim’s mind.

1. Love bombing with surprise

Early in the relationship, narcissists overwhelm their victims with affection, gifts, and attention, often catching them off guard. This flood of positive emotions creates a deep bond, making the victim more emotionally dependent. The element of surprise heightens this bond, as the victim’s brain releases dopamine, leaving them highly suggestible.

2. Confusion with a grain of truth

After the love bombing, the narcissist introduces confusion by mixing lies with a small truth. For example, they might say, “I didn’t say that yesterday. You were in the kitchen when I was talking,” blending fact with manipulation. This causes the victim to question their memory, weakening their defences and creating cognitive dissonance.

3. Direct programming

Once confused, the narcissist inserts damaging phrases like “You’re going crazy” or “You never listen.” These statements, repeated during moments of vulnerability, get imprinted in the victim’s subconscious, causing them to internalize the negative beliefs. This direct programming locks the victim into the narcissist’s control.

By understanding this cycle, victims can recognize the manipulation and begin breaking free from its grip.

Reversing the damage: Positive hypnosis and neuroplasticity

The brain’s neuroplasticity, the ability to form new neural pathways, offers hope. Just as negative hypnosis can rewire the brain for harm, positive hypnosis can rewire it for healing. In a therapeutic setting, hypnosis allows the brain to enter the same alpha or theta state, but this time with a focus on recovery, self-confidence, emotional independence, and empowerment. 

Learn more about neuroplasticity and its role in healing.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) complements hypnotherapy in this healing process. While positive hypnotherapy rewires harmful subconscious patterns, CBT helps challenge distorted beliefs on a conscious level and build long-term resilience.

Discover how hypnotherapy and CBT work together here.

Through positive guided hypnosis, survivors can leverage neuroplasticity to create healthier neural pathways. In therapy, individuals visualize reclaiming their voice, establishing boundaries, and healing from past traumas. These positive suggestions are absorbed by the brain, helping it rewire for self-worth, confidence, and emotional resilience.

With repeated practice, the prefrontal cortex strengthens, restoring the individual’s ability to make sound decisions and regulate emotions. Essentially, the brain "unlearns" the toxic patterns imposed by the abuser.

Key differences between negative and positive hypnosis

1. State of mind

 Negative hypnosis: Induced through fear, confusion, or emotional overwhelm, making the victim vulnerable and suggestible. 

 Positive hypnosis: Created in a safe, therapeutic setting, allowing the individual to relax, heal, and tap into their inner strength.

2. Purpose

 Negative hypnosis: Aims to control and manipulate, fostering dependency and self-doubt. 

 Positive hypnosis: Seeks to heal and empower, restoring autonomy and self-awareness.

3. Impact on the brain

Negative hypnosis: Weakens the prefrontal cortex and strengthens the limbic system, creating impulsivity and self-doubt. 

Positive hypnosis: Strengthens the prefrontal cortex, promoting emotional regulation and independent decision-making.

Lucy’s journey: Healing from narcissistic abuse at hypnobond

Lucy came into HypnoBond looking defeated. After years in a toxic relationship, she had lost touch with herself, feeling as if her emotions were overpowering her ability to think clearly.

We began with art therapy, providing Lucy with a safe space to express her overwhelming emotions. She painted tangled lines, symbolizing her confusion, anger, and sadness. This creative outlet gave her control over her emotions.

Next, we used CBT to challenge distorted beliefs like “I’m not good enough” and “I’ll never be happy without him.” Lucy gradually replaced these with balanced, affirming thoughts.

Finally, in guided hypnosis, we worked on building confidence, self-identity, and healthy boundaries. After several sessions, Lucy discovered new passions and a renewed sense of self-worth. Her brain had begun to rewire itself for healing, breaking free from the negative loops that had trapped her for so long.

The hypnobond approach: Healing through action

At HypnoBond, we believe in experiential therapy. Clients don’t just talk. They engage in hands-on exercises designed to rewire the brain and reconnect with feelings of strength, autonomy, and resilience. Whether through guided imagery, body-centred techniques, or art-based activities, clients rediscover their hidden strengths and wisdom. This approach helps them move from survival mode to a state of exploration, curiosity, and growth.

This is why we created “Breaking Free from Narcissistic Darkness,” a program specifically designed for survivors of narcissistic abuse. It helps individuals dismantle negative conditioning and rebuild an empowered, resilient future.

This isn’t just another program; it’s a journey of empowerment!